Love Island USA Is Debating Zach and Kayda’s ‘Situationship’: Who Is Right and What Does the Term Mean?

Love Island USA is no stranger to social media discourse, but the latest debate to emerge from the villa is more scholarly than scandalous.

In Tuesday’s episode, contestants Kayda and Zach labeled their connection “exclusive,” which they defined as not seeing other people, but not formally becoming girlfriend and boyfriend. When Kayda shared that with her fellow contestant Trinity, she responded by calling Kayda and Zach’s dynamic a “situationship.” For the rest of the episode, the female contestants debated the meaning of exclusivity, and the internet picked up where they left off.

Some fans aligned with Kayda and Zach’s view of the word “exclusive,” as the step before becoming a traditional, monogamous couple. Others agreed with Trinity, defining a “situationship” as any romantic entanglement that lacks a formal title. The episode and the online conversation, when considered together, reflect a confusion shared by many young adults, especially when it comes to modern dating vocabulary.

“I think we put a lot of pressure on relationships to follow one script,” Ruby Rare, intimacy expert at the dating app Feeld, tells Teen Vogue. “In reality, the healthiest relationships are often the ones where people feel free to write their own.”

If Love Island USA is making you question your understanding of dating vernacular, fear not. Below, Rare demystifies some of today’s most common dating terms, how to talk about them with friends, and how these words can help us, rather than hold us back. (But if you’re looking for a definition of the term “French fry,” you’ll have to search somewhere else.)

The “phases” of a relationship

Despite what may play out in the villa, Rare says there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for building a healthy relationship. “We tend to imagine a neat progression from meeting, to dating, to exclusivity, to becoming a couple, but real relationships rarely unfold that way,” she says. “You’re getting to know each other, exploring attraction, deciding whether you want to keep seeing one another, talking about exclusivity, if that’s something you both want, and eventually deciding whether a committed partnership feels right.”

Rare feels open communication is the truest form of progress in any relationship. “Rather than focusing on milestones, I’d encourage people to focus on having honest conversations, as this is what builds the foundation of any connection,” she says. For Trinity and her villa connection, Bryce, those conversations have focused on their desire to enter a traditional “girlfriend and boyfriend” dynamic. Kayda and Zach, on the other hand, have discussed ways to move their relationship forward before adding the boyfriend-girlfriend label. Neither is right or wrong, but the conversation itself is key.